


My War Is Over

by wintersoldierswhore



Category: Marvel (Comics), Marvel 616, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Bucky Angst, Bucky Barnes Angst, Bucky Barnes Feels, Bucky Barnes Has Issues, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-13
Updated: 2019-01-13
Packaged: 2019-10-09 13:56:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,713
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17408153
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wintersoldierswhore/pseuds/wintersoldierswhore
Summary: “You are not IN the universe, you ARE the universe, an intrinsic part of it. Ultimately, you are not a person but a focal point where the universe is becoming conscious of itself. What an amazing miracle.”





	My War Is Over

**Author's Note:**

> I know that Bucky was out of the Cryo a lot before Infinity Wat but just this once let's act like they woke him up for the war. 
> 
> The quote Bucky remembered belongs to William Carlos Williams. 
> 
> Also, major angst so be careful.

“Open your eyes,” 

Bucky opened his eyes to the blinding sun, groaning because of how sweaty and hot he was. He was laying on the grass, just near the pool and both of his arms were numb. 

“Great,” he mumbled. “All I needed was some sunburn on my face,” 

He didn’t remember how he got there or how he fell asleep just next to the pool, his right hand was brushing the surface of the water before he pulled it out. Bucky knew he was a heavy sleeper but he usually fell asleep on the hammock on the porch, not on the ground. He groaned and tried to relax his muscles as he stood up. His flip-flops were nowhere to be seen. Bucky looked up and watched the house in silence, the birds were chirping in joy and the wind was softly caressing the big pine tree next to the barbecue. This house was everything he had ever dreamed of. The pine tree, pool, the way your neighbours were always so quiet, the dinners he had with you at that picnic table and how the fairy lights favoured your pretty eyes. The scenery looked like a picture from a Country Living Magazine. A well-furnished house near the beach, a pool that he very much enjoyed, a dog that kept biting his bum when they played together and a girlfriend who he loved and was loved by very much. Everything was just peachy. In summer the song sings itself, Bucky remembered the quote he really liked. He savoured the silence and sighed, he very much appreciated this version of his life.

He really did not like the sunburn on his arms though. Bucky slowly got up from the sticky grass and scrubbed to greenness on his back. If he knew one thing, it was how you hated the stains on his clothes. Unfortunately for you, he was a clumsy man. If he was eating peaches, his shirt was eating with him, if he was drinking juice, he was spilling it all over. And if he was eating anything with meat in it, he was feeding your dog with his other hand, letting your golden retriever run in the house with tomato sauce in her snout.

Bucky opened the glass door of the living room and let himself in. He stood in the entrance, held his breath and listened to the silence. Nothing, he heard. You were still asleep which meant your little helper, the golden retriever, Mandy was sleeping with you. If you were awake, you would be flipping a pancake in the kitchen and dancing to some stupid pop song. He had never hated a word before he witnessed how many times you listened to that song. Des-pa-cito, you’d say and would laugh at his frown. Bucky never hated a song that much before you discovered it. He passed by the tidy kitchen, you made him wash the dishes last night and smiled the way how you placed the dishcloth near the sink, giving the message that the kitchen was clean and tidy. It was a cute habit that made Bucky chuckle each time. Your picture was put up the fridge, his cheek on yours as you protected your hat from the wind. Bucky’s face was not fully seen on there because of his hair but you still pinned the picture on the fridge. If he didn’t know you any better, Bucky would think you only liked the picture because you looked perfect on it but he saw your other pictures, you were almost too perfect on the each one of them. And in real life. He bit inside of his cheek to stop himself from being a complete sap over you. 

In the bathroom, he turned the faucet and stripped from his clothes, not forgetting to pour some liquid detergent on his shorts, so that you won’t kill him when you find out the stains. He was 6.3, 190 pounds, a muscular and a strong guy who got scolded by you because of the laundry. And he was not complaining, he was simply enjoying it. 

The cold water took the heat away from his body as he reached for your lavender shower gel since he was going to wake you up by cuddling right next to you, he wanted to do it in a cheeky way. He stepped out of the shower and wrapped the towel around his waist and grabbed a pair of shorts from the drawer, Mandy was snoring right on your feet. The room was silent except your steady breathing and Mandy’s snore. This was what Bucky liked, not having to hear cars and loud noises all the time. He quickly dried himself off and stood on your side of the bed, watching you as you peacefully slept. Your knees were almost touching your stomach and one of your arms was under the pillow. You were almost drooling when Bucky laid down next to you, one of his arms were under his head as you slowly got closer to his body in your half-awake state. It was a habit, whenever he was in the bed with you, he had you clinging on him like a koala bear and Bucky was pleased to serve you as your personal tree.

“Whoa whoa whoa,” he said as you nuzzled your nose on his cheek. “It’s too warm for cuddling,” he whined and made you laugh.

“I am too warm,” you replied in your hoarse voice and placed one of your hands on his cold, firm abdomen. He was in perfect condition to steal the cold. “You are just icy and it’s perfect,” 

He leaned into your touch for you to enjoy the cold he radiated but soon it left its place to the warmness, even his damp hair was warm now. The humidity was taking a toll on both of you but you were clinging on Bucky with all four of your limbs. Mandy was still asleep and she was still snoring. You both knew for sure that if she would wake up, she would climb on Bucky until he gave in and took her on a walk. To be fair, you wanted Bucky to be there with you more than anything and he wanted to lay on the bed enjoying the morning with you. You lifted your head up and smelled his hair, knowing that he used your hair moisturizer. This was his way of taking revenge. You ate his cereal and he stole your moisturizer for payback. 

You hummed in peace when he squeezed your leg between his and you slowly trailed your finger on his chest, making him squirm a little. “I am glad that you like the smell of my moisturizer,” you joked and Bucky barked so loud that you opened your eyes. “It was not that funny,” you claimed and he gazed on your face, thinking that he would never wake up to something prettier. The corner of his lips was lifted up as he savoured your morning face. Even though he had seen you drooling over your pillow a couple of times, this was still Bucky’s favourite look on you. Hair all over the place, your eyes were a little puffy because of the slumber and your lips were swollen for some reason, your lips were really perky when you first woke up, and your mind was as still as his.

“Did you draw dicks on my face again or what now Barnes?” you interrupted his train of thoughts with your teasing question. He only did that once but you were still suspecting that he would do it again. And he would, just when you least expected it. He laughed and shook his head in joy. “Sweetheart, I promised you that I wouldn’t,” he replied and pecked a kiss on your nose. “I told you I would cut your balls if you did it again,” you shrugged and placed your chin on his shoulder. “You only promised because I threatened you,” 

“Mhm,” Bucky approved and let you win this time because he was getting sleepier with you petting his hair so soft. You both took a breath at the same time and sighed, there was something fragile about moments like this. The calm made you both nervous knowing that even a miracle would feel like a storm after this. 

“Open your eyes,” 

This time when he woke up, Bucky was nearly blind. And this time it was not because of the sun, it was because of the bright lights shining down onto his face. He felt the absence of his left arm and barely stopped himself from smashing his head on the wall in the chamber.

“Sergeant Barnes?” a woman’s voice startled him as he realised where he was. Cryo. He refused this. He refused this reality. Bucky opened his eyes, reluctantly, even though the light was too much and he would rather fall back asleep and finish his dream. “Sergeant Barnes?” the insisting woman was there again, interrupting Bucky’s misery. He started to see clearly the woman, as well as Shuri and Steve standing behind her. Bucky realised Steve’s new suit and shield. The way Steve looked at him almost shattered Bucky’s heart, the cold blue eyes of his best friend was telling him one thing. War. That moment, Bucky knew what this meant for him, the never-ending fight. What he didn’t know was this was going to be his last one. He dropped his shoulders and took a deep breath, not wanting to let go of the warm memory of you. You were not even real but you gave Bucky life more than anyone ever did before. He nodded to Shuri and she stepped aside. Now there was nothing between Steve and Bucky. Only a couple of unsaid words and a dream that Bucky would die to have back. Two fighters, one in a white shirt and white pants, looking like he just lost the most violent battle of his life, the other was in his new suit and about to lose the most violent battle of his life, yet neither of them knew that. Steve arched his back and stood straight as Bucky asked the most important question,

“Where is the fight?”


End file.
